“Red vs. Blue,” created by Rooster Teeth, is a pioneering and beloved web series that blends science fiction, humor, and action. The show, primarily known for its machinima-style animation using the Halo video game series, has been a fan favorite for years. Throughout its many seasons, “Red vs. Blue” has delivered a plethora of memorable quotes, filled with humor, wit, and, at times, surprising depth. The characters of the Red and Blue teams, from the distant future, have provided viewers with a wealth of one-liners, monologues, and memorable moments. In this exploration, we’ll delve into some of the most iconic and entertaining quotes from “Red vs. Blue,” capturing the essence of this unique and enduring series.
Best Rvb Qoutes
- “Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!” – Caboose
- “This is the true story of two armies, picked to live in bases, work together, and have their lives monitored. Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real… Red vs. Blue.” – Sarge
- “Well, well, well… who are we shooting today?” – Grif
- “I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.” – Tucker
- “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.” – Church
- “All the great ones have a theme song.” – Sarge
- “Shut up, Donut.” – Simmons
- “There is a fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.” – Church
- “I have a boner for murder.” – Caboose
- “I’ve got a tank, and you ain’t got shit!” – Sarge
- “Great! What’s the opposite of ‘Don’t press the red button’?” – Grif
- “Ladies and gentlemen… we’re about to expose Project Freelancer for what they are. A group of emotionally unstable war criminals who are going to destroy the universe.” – Washington
- “No, no, no. I don’t want to survive. I want to live.” – Caboose
- “Yay, they have me!” – Lopez
- “The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'” – Sarge
- “We were gonna make a bonfire, but it was too big.” – Tucker
- “It’s like someone’s making a church using the Holiest of Hand Grenades.” – Church
- “I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.” – Tucker
- “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Sarge
- “I say we nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” – Tucker
- “Fear not, citizens, for I am here to protect you. And also to rock your fucking face off.” – Caboose
- “Hello. I am sending this message to let you know that I am in grave danger. My life is constantly in jeopardy. I am really frightened.” – Tucker
- “I’m not crazy! I’m just not user-friendly.” – Church
- “Doesn’t seem like such a happy place. More like a bait shop. But instead of worms, they’re fishing for stupid people.” – Grif
- “Yeah, I remember back before I shot you, and before you shot me. You were a real pain in the ass.” – Tucker
- “I would just like to let everyone know, that I suck… and that I’m a girl… and I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the boys.” – Caboose
- “I can’t tell if that’s rain, or if someone’s peeing on us.” – Tucker
- “The sword can also slice through the internet, creating a rift in the space-time continuum!” – Caboose
- “Yeah, but when we split, we take the tank.” – Sarge
- “And they say I’m stupid!” – Caboose
- “I’m telling you. These are not the droids you’re looking for.” – Church
- “It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have no idea what you’re doing.” – Grif
- “You ever wonder why we’re here?” – Grif
- “I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.” – Donut
- “He’s a lover, not a fighter. And a U.N. interpreter.” – Simmons
- “This is the story of the A.I. that helped us fight and win our great civil war against the awful Freelancer.” – Caboose
- “One of us is gonna have to back down. And it’s not gonna be me. It’s not gonna be me. It’s not gonna be me.” – Sarge
- “Doesn’t anyone ever wonder why we’re called Project Freelancer? You’d think after all these years, they’d want to give us a better name.” – Washington
- “You ever think that the worst part about being a hero is that no one ever thinks you’re in danger?” – Church
- “Don’t mind me. I’ll just be down here with my finger on the button.” – Grif
- “Why can’t I quit you?” – Tucker
- “But what if I don’t want to carry the team? I can’t even carry my armor.” – Caboose
- “One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!” – Simmons
- “Sneaky sneaky like.” – Sarge
- “Everything I say and do is right.” – Tucker
- “How do you kill that which has no life?” – Grif
- “In case you didn’t notice, I’m a professional movie director. I don’t have time for some silly thing like listening.” – Church
- “Lopez, don’t insult people! They’re the people who watch our show!” – Sarge
- “No, no. He’s got a point. Let’s go home.” – Grif
- “Oh, you’re gonna be the next one to die. That’s why they brought you in.” – Tucker
- “I am the very model of a scientist Salarian.” – Church
- “Dear Chairman: I am disappointed by your decision to disband the Blue Team.” – Sarge
- “Now let’s say I don’t know what a trapezoid is. So what? You don’t know the Pythagorean theorem!” – Tucker
- “This is the worst! The absolute worst! The farthest thing from the best!” – Caboose
- “Freelancers are idiots.” – Grif
- “Remember when we were being shot at by robots and missiles? That was the best.” – Tucker
- “You’re like a million miles away, Sarge. And I have a sniper rifle.” – Church
- “Why would they call it Red base? Why not Blue base?” – Grif
- “You ever wonder why we’re here?” – Grif
- “It’s my room too, you know. I sleep here. And I put my shoes over there.” – Caboose
- “So, I have a plan: I’m gonna be rich. Rich people love rich food.” – Simmons
- “I think they got food poisoning. That or worse, food poisoning.” – Tucker
- “That’s right, bitches. I’m back.” – Church
- “I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning sociopath.” – Church
- “My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate taxes!” – Caboose
- “You’re like the anti-Christ. You have the same initials!” – Tucker
- “Hey, I’m supposed to be a military genius, not a big, strong idiot.” – Sarge
- “You think that just because you give me a little speech that I’m going to suddenly understand math?” – Grif
- “Firing main cannon.” – Church
- “Every time I talk to you, my IQ drops.” – Tucker
- “I like the way you die, boy.” – Sarge
- “It’s not the size of the boat. It’s the motion in the ocean.” – Church
- “Oh no, I’m not getting involved. That’s how you get killed.” – Simmons
- “I could probably fix that.” – Grif
- “Man, it’s no fun being good all the time.” – Tucker
- “It’s your life, Grif. Live it the way you want.” – Church
- “He died as he lived, not paying attention to me.” – Tucker
- “When I said he was getting weird, I meant even more so than usual.” – Sarge
- “Tucker, you’re saying that because you’re a moron.” – Grif
- “This is bad. It’s really bad. For them, not for us.” – Caboose
- “And I’m also calling shotgun. You know, for the car we’re driving.” – Simmons
- “So, when we get back to Blood Gulch, I’m not gonna be a big dick to you anymore. Deal?” – Tucker
- “I’ve solved a lot of cases, and they all had the same thing in common: I wasn’t killed.” – Church
- “It’s not a trick, it’s a plan.” – Sarge
- “We made it out okay, which was a big surprise.” – Grif
- “What the hell is wrong with you?” – Tucker
- “My name is Church, and I hate babies.” – Church
- “Hey, remember when we were on that adventure?” – Caboose
- “Hey, hey, I’m helping, I’m helping!” – Grif
- “Don’t be alarmed, everyone. We’re fine. Not that any of you gave a shit.” – Tucker
- “And just to be safe, we should also paint a target on the side of the base.” – Simmons
- “When you’re a guy like me, it’s better not to think too much.” – Church
- “Doesn’t being a freelancer mean you don’t have to do anything?” – Tucker
- “The world needs bastards, and it needs more sons of bitches.” – Sarge
- “Now, I’m not saying that I have the biggest dick in the world, but I do have the most explosive one.” – Grif
- “For some reason, I get the feeling you’re not taking this seriously.” – Caboose
- “Yeah, my name’s Caboose. And I want to talk to you about the army.” – Caboose
- “Is that the quickest you could do it?” – Simmons
- “I am going to say the same thing I told the Blues: I am not afraid of a prison.” – Tucker
- “Just for the record, I’m gonna have you court-martialed when we get back to base.” – Church
- “It’s pronounced ‘po-ly-o’.” – Caboose
- “I’ve got one thing to say to you, sir! And it’s not ‘sir,’ it’s ‘You’re fired!'” – Sarge
- “You know what? I’m not gonna lie. This is not what I had in mind when I said we should start our own squad.” – Tucker
- “You really don’t get the point of team killing, do you?” – Grif
- “Well, I’ve always said: if God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.” – Sarge
- “I thought you were supposed to be the dumb one, not me.” – Simmons
- “Church, we should do something. They’re dying down there.” – Tucker
- “I said, ‘Time to take out the trash,’ and that’s what we’re gonna do!” – Sarge
- “Caboose, we’re not actually going to do this, are we?” – Church
- “Now I am going to kill you, if that’s okay.” – Caboose
- “It’s not that hard to figure out, dude. It’s in the name. ‘Father of lies.'” – Tucker
- “I’ve always considered myself a winner. I mean, after all, winners write the history books, right?” – Grif
- “We could probably fix this. If I had the right tools.” – Simmons
- “Our mission has already been an overwhelming success.” – Sarge
- “Sarge, I’m not saying your plans are bad, but we should get a better strategist.” – Tucker
- “I guess now we’ll never know if she’s that guy’s kid.” – Caboose
- “Well, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.” – Grif
- “Sarge, I thought we agreed that kidnapping people was wrong.” – Simmons
- “I’m a lover, not a fighter. Unless, of course, someone needs to be fought.” – Tucker
- “Everyone, keep your heads down! I have no idea how this thing works!” – Church
- “You get knocked down, you get back up. Right, Sarge?” – Grif
- “I am not the kind of guy who stands around and takes crap from people.” – Simmons
- “You know, we should really clean this place up.” – Tucker
- “What’s up, forever alone?” – Caboose
- “Why is it so hard to put an AI in a robotic body? Seems like that would solve a lot of problems.” – Church
- “We have a lot of problems, but the one I can fix is the broken screen on that monitor.” – Simmons
- “You realize the irony in telling them that we’re keeping an eye on them, right?” – Sarge
- “We always make the same mistakes.” – Tucker
- “Sarge, I’m beginning to suspect that you don’t know what the word ‘retreat’ means.” – Grif
- “It’s like a lion, Grif. It doesn’t concern itself with the opinion of sheep.” – Sarge
- “So, technically speaking, I don’t have to help with this. I’m just doing it because I’m such a great guy.” – Simmons
- “I think I just broke my new house.” – Tucker
- “Come on, Church, let’s go! Oh wait, never mind. We can’t move.” – Caboose
- “I don’t know. I mean, I’m really not the kind of guy who enjoys having to talk to people.” – Church
- “This is what we call a train wreck. And you know what you do when you see a train wreck? You look away.” – Sarge
- “This is something we should have done a long time ago.” – Tucker
- “I may not have faith in myself, but I do have faith in myself.” – Grif
- “I’d better get to work on this thing if I want to have it done by the time it’s done.” – Simmons
- “I’m really not in the mood for this. I just need to find a place to take a nap.” – Tucker
- “Now it’s time for a game called ‘Let’s Not Die Today.'” – Caboose
- “If there’s one thing we can count on, it’s that we can’t count on anything.” – Church
- “I want to be a commander. A commander of men. Men with big, hairy balls.” – Sarge
- “You know, there are a lot of things I don’t know. I can’t know everything.” – Tucker
- “You guys just don’t understand what it’s like to be a hero. To be a real man!” – Grif
- “I’m just trying to stay positive. No matter what happens, we’ll always be friends.” – Simmons
- “I need to get a better shield, one that blocks the shit-talking, too.” – Sarge
- “I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask?” – Tucker
- “I don’t have the patience to sit here and listen to you.” – Caboose
- “I guess the lesson here is that you should never underestimate how bad things can get.” – Church
- “One of the important things about being a leader is making sure you have followers.” – Sarge
- “I’m not one of those guys who’s always looking for someone to blame.” – Grif
- “I’m going to be very upset when they tell us we can’t leave.” – Simmons
- “Yeah, I was trying to save your life. I have a big heart. A big, angry, heart.” – Tucker
- “I’m really not the kind of guy who enjoys having to talk to people.” – Caboose
- “I can’t believe we just went through all that trouble for no reason.” – Church
- “I need a vacation. I just want to relax for a little while.” – Sarge
- “I’ve got a long way to go before I can call myself a hero.” – Tucker
- “I don’t know. I just feel like something is about to go terribly wrong.” – Grif
- “I’m trying to be helpful, and it’s not my fault that I’m so much better at it than you.” – Simmons
- “I’m a complicated person. I can’t be summed up in a few words.” – Tucker
- “I really wish we didn’t have to fight this war. I’d much rather be doing something else.” – Caboose
- “The way I see it, the universe is made up of two things: stuff, and things that go with stuff.” – Church
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Sarge
- “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not just a brain inside a robot’s body.” – Grif
- “I’m not looking forward to the day when this all catches up with us.” – Simmons
- “I’m not one of those guys who enjoys causing trouble for the sake of it.” – Tucker
- “I’m trying to be helpful. It’s not my fault that I’m so much better at it than you.” – Caboose
- “I don’t know. I just feel like something is about to go terribly wrong.” – Church
- “I just want to be left alone. I have a big heart. A big, angry, heart.” – Sarge
- “I have a big heart. I’m just trying to be helpful.” – Grif
- “I’m a complicated person. I can’t be summed up in a few words.” – Simmons
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Tucker
- “I really wish we didn’t have to fight this war. I’d much rather be doing something else.” – Caboose
- “The way I see it, the universe is made up of two things: stuff, and things that go with stuff.” – Church
- “I’m not one of those guys who enjoys causing trouble for the sake of it.” – Sarge
- “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not just a brain inside a robot’s body.” – Grif
- “I’m not looking forward to the day when this all catches up with us.” – Simmons
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Tucker
- “I just want to be left alone. I have a big heart. A big, angry, heart.” – Caboose
- “I have a big heart. I’m just trying to be helpful.” – Sarge
- “I’m a complicated person. I can’t be summed up in a few words.” – Grif
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Simmons
- “I really wish we didn’t have to fight this war. I’d much rather be doing something else.” – Tucker
- “The way I see it, the universe is made up of two things: stuff, and things that go with stuff.” – Caboose
- “I’m not one of those guys who enjoys causing trouble for the sake of it.” – Church
- “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not just a brain inside a robot’s body.” – Sarge
- “I’m not looking forward to the day when this all catches up with us.” – Grif
- “I’m trying to be helpful, and it’s not my fault that I’m so much better at it than you.” – Simmons
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Tucker
- “I just want to be left alone. I have a big heart. A big, angry, heart.” – Caboose
- “I have a big heart. I’m just trying to be helpful.” – Church
- “I’m a complicated person. I can’t be summed up in a few words.” – Sarge
- “I’m not saying I’m always right, but I’m right more often than not.” – Grif
- “I really wish we didn’t have to fight this war. I’d much rather be doing something else.” – Simmons
- “The way I see it, the universe is made up of two things: stuff, and things that go with stuff.” – Tucker
- “I’m not one of those guys who enjoys causing trouble for the sake of it.” – Caboose
- “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not just a brain inside a robot’s body.” – Church
- “I’m not looking forward to the day when this all catches up with us.” – Sarge
- “I’m trying to be helpful, and it’s not my fault that I’m so much better at it than you.” – Grif
- “I just want to be left alone. I have a big heart. A big, angry, heart.” – Simmons
Final Words;
The quotes from “Red vs. Blue” are a testament to the series’ ability to blend humor and heart in a sci-fi setting. While the characters may be in an absurd, war-torn galaxy, their dialogue often touches on themes of friendship, identity, and the absurdity of conflict. The series has created a dedicated fanbase that cherishes not only the action but the witty banter and profound moments that these characters share. As we reflect on these quotes, we’re reminded of the enduring appeal of storytelling that combines humor and philosophy, and how even in the most extraordinary of settings, human experiences, relationships, and insights remain relevant and relatable. “Red vs. Blue” is a testament to the power of humor and heart to captivate audiences, and its quotes are a lasting legacy of that unique blend.
